Posted by: John Colby | Monday July 30 2012

Celtic Terrors Summer Holiday DogBlog 2012 Part 2

Celtic Terrors Summer Holiday DogBlog 2012 Part 2

Previous Instalment

Some readers have asked about the rabbits. If you want to know the full story you’ll have to see the previous summer holiday dogblogs, but to summarise we know that the rabbits round here like to think they’re technologically advanced enough to use our CPS (Canine Positioning System) to know where we are.

But they don’t with sufficient accuracy.

But I’ve hacked into their network – oryctol.net – Latin for their species.

You are clever.

And used the social network the birds use – Twitter – to do a bit of social engineering. Then we confuse them by changing certain settings on their system and changing them back before they notice.

Not only clever, but devious. How did you learn all this?

Nicked his notes – him we allow to share our bed.

So what now?

We spy on them without them knowing. Sometimes we let them think their system’s working and sometimes we surprise them. Adds to the interest.

But we’re never going to catch one like this.

Believe me, rabbit’s overrated – it takes work to catch and prepare one. We just get them to serve up what we like.

Good point.

Saturday 28th July 2012.

Up early – he’s raring to get out and we like the fresh morning. And Kerry’s chasing the rabbits.

I know I didn’t catch that rabbit – just lulling them into a false sense of security.

So you say.

Hey, she’s still in bed – let’s go and wake her up!

But you’re all wet from the dew – hey – great idea! So now she does want to get up I’ll lay on her feet.

And when she tells you to move I’ll take over.

Good game! She doesn’t think so. Better let her put the bed away.

No fun in not doing something. Just lay on the half she isn’t using.

Breakfast, then up to the field, then out.

She’s off to another literary thingie about landscape. We’re patrolling the local parks with him, then lunch when her thing finishes.

Now where?

I heard Chapel Carn Brea. Like it up there – we can see for miles, even the Isles of Scilly.

And you like the rabbits.

There is that.

Hey, you’re right – we can see for miles today.

Right, rabbits. I know they’re here.

OK, you find any then call me. I’ll just stay with them in the sun.

There’s this beacon basket thing on the top this year. Did they light a Jubilee beacon here?

Not listed on the website, but there is a Midsummer Eve fire here every year. Druids, you know.

King Arthur?

Not this time.

Pity, I’ve always wanted to meet Cabal.

He could put paw prints in stone – and all we can do is paw prints on the kitchen floor.

You can’t wipe up paw prints in stone.

And it doesn’t stop you trying to make permanent marks on the kitchen floor, but they can always clean them up.

Still – there’s always the rabbits. Bet Cabal caught those.

Listen – he was one for tangling with wild boar, so rabbits would have been no problem.

Anyway, they’ve had enough and are going back down. Better follow them.

Now we’re going round the north coast back to Penzance, shopping and the van.

And visit our rabbits.

Don’t be too sure – I’ve reset their system.

Rabbit 2: So you say they’re back?

Rabbit 3: And gong to appear on time?

Rabbit 1: Exactly as planned.

Rabbit 2: You’re certain of this?

Rabbit 3: Absolutely certain?

Rabbit 1: Yes. Now go and watch.

Rabbit 2: Hey, he’s right. Right on schedule. They’re looking everywhere for us.

Rabbit 3: Have to agree. But …

Rabbit 2: But what?

Rabbit 3: But what if this is a one-off or a fluke?

Rabbit 2: You could be right.

Rabbit 1: Right, so now you’re satisfied that the system works?

Rabbit 3: The demo works well.

Rabbit 2: This time. But it’s been wrong so often in the past.

Rabbit 3: I think we’ll need a little more proof.

Rabbit 1: But what about the system I have to pay for?

Rabbit 2: More proof. That’s it.

Rabbit 1: But …

Rabbit 3: More proof – that’s final.

Is that what you intended?

Yep. Now I’m going to leave it set as it is for a while. Then we surprise them.

Sunday 29th July 2012

Not up so early today – raining. But up to the field – and no rabbits.

I said I’d be leaving it alone.

Now breakfast and more rain. She’s said we’re hunting again today. More chapels.

He thinks we’ve already been to some of them. She agrees but wants to make sure.

So off and into Penzance.

Then back again – he’s lost his phone.

Then he finds it in the boot.

Then she says she could have rung it to see if it was in the car.

But they didn’t, and now we’re off again.

This one is supposed to have been hit by a land mine during the Second World War.

They’ve found a gatepost and bent gate. Seems to fit. It’s in the right place.

She’s satisfied. And now onto some more.

Got that one, and that one, and that one, and that one. So now off to lunch via St Just.

And Chapel Carn Brea – like it here.

See how much of their lunch we can blag. Hmm. Quite a bit.

And up – and see the Dartmoor ponies. Nice – they’re in good condition, nice shiny coats.

Being spooked a bit by those people flying kites. So we’re going down so we don’t add to their stress.

Plenty of time to mooch around – out of the wind a bit here.

And off to find another chapel – St Leven.

Hey, this one’s falling down. Deteriorated since we started coming here. It’s listed but probably no money to pay for the maintenance. There’s bits falling off. He’s been round the back photographing and saying that there’s damp everywhere. Pity, but what can you do.

Got to wonder whether listing it and then forcing people to come up with loads of money to repair it was such a good idea. If it wasn’t listed would they have been able to maintain it more cheaply?

You’ve been listening to her, haven’t you?

And to him. He does talk sense sometimes.

Chapel at St Leven in 2007. Missing drainpipe.

Similar view in 2012. Drainpipe now gone and render collapsed. Encroaching greenery. Other parts of the chapel show similar deterioration. All this on a Grade 2 listed building that the owners probably can’t afford to repair.

Anyway, back to the van.

And the rabbits.

But they won’t be there.

You’re sure of this aren’t you?

Yep!

Rabbit 1: See! It works! Now do you believe me? They’re where they’re meant to be!

Rabbit 2: OK, take your point.

Rabbit 1: So now you’ll pay for this year?

Rabbit 3: Suppose we’ll have to.

Rabbit 2: But not today.

Rabbit 1: Why? What’s stopping you.

Rabbit 2: Its Sunday.

Rabbit 3: And the lettuce bank isn’t open today.

Now I see why.

Right, move over, let me make some ‘adjustments’.

Heh, heh!

Monday 30th July 2012

Hey ho, up to the field we go.

You’ve been plotting.

You just concentrate on the running.

Rabbits! Loads of them!

Then go! I’ll follow.

Nearly got that one.

If nearly is a country mile, yes, you did.

So back for breakfast.

And check the system.

Rabbit 2: So what do you call this! You said it was safe!

Rabbit 1: It was – they were nowhere near!

Rabbit 3: So are there TWO golden dogs in Penwith that don’t answer to ‘Kerry, come here!’?

Rabbit 2: Or TWO laconic grinning collies that answer to the name of Sandy?

Rabbit 1: But the CPS says they’re both out surfing!

Rabbit 2: But they aren’t. Either of them! They’re here and now!

Rabbit 3: So you’d better get it right.

Rabbit 2: Before we pay you one blade of grass, let alone a leaf of lettuce.

Rabbit 1: Errr … Errr …

Rabbit 3: Geddit right for a change!

So what did you do?

Simple really – swapped our CPS tags with Middy next door.

The Chihuahua pup in the next caravan? Clever.

Worked, didn’t it?

Anyway, we’re off today to Camborne to find some lost chapels. And they’ve promised us a run up Carn Brea.

First stop the Pet Shop. Like this place, self selecting the toys!

Carry it to the checkout, then!

And she’s bought some meaty treats.

So now to find the chapels – seems like we’re driving round quartering the ground.

It’s what we do. Maybe they’re learning something useful at last.

And now we’ve found one. Not the one she’s been looking for but one she hadn’t got.

Nice conversion. She’s impressed.

Spectacularly good conversion in progress at Carwynnen. The extension fits into the landscape, and roofing materials have been matched to the original. And yes, it would be great living there.

And now to the other one down the road a bit. It’s supposed to one of the earliest. And she’s convinced.

Reputed to be one of the original Wesley Chapels in Cornwall.

Right, on to lunch and Carn Brea.

Nice up here – can see for miles.

Further today – see up there.

Where, St Agnes Beacon?

No, further, that headland – Trevose Head. And you can see the lighthouse.

Ah, the white thing.

That’s sixty or more miles away! Great view!

And rabbits.

Must you always address the mundane?

Today, yes. Tomorrow it’ll be Tuesdane.

But it’s my jokes module!

Just getting my own back.

And on to the western summit.

I’ve just found this muddy reedy pond.

You would!

I’ll dry off before we get back to the car. They don’t mind really.

So we’re back to the summit, and then the car, then shopping, then back to the van.

Should be fun on the walk tonight.

See what I can think up.

Rabbit 1: So they’re back. Watch out.

Rabbit 2: We know how to watch out – it’s just that we don’t know if we can trust your system to tell us when.

Rabbit 3: He’s right, they’re back.

Rabbit 1: But they’re not up here yet.

Rabbit 2: o now you prove your system by going topside.

Rabbit 1: Errr …

Rabbit 3: Go on, prove it.

Rabbit 1: You make it very difficult to say no.

Rabbit 1: OK, been up. And no sign of them. You’re quite safe.

Rabbit 2: So now we have to trust you. Hmmmm.

Rabbit 3: Can’t stay here all day – let’s go up together.

Rabbit 3: And down together. No sooner up than the golden one was there.

Rabbit 2: And the other one’s got that knowing grin again. Came face to face with her!

Rabbit 1: But they’re nowhere near here, they’re at the caravan!

Rabbit 2: So your system is not giving us the correct in formation yet again.

Rabbit 3: Good job we delayed the payment of the lettuce.

Rabbit 1: Errr… Err…

Rabbit 2: Just get it right! For once get it right!

OK, so what did you do then?

Where are our CPS tags?

On Middy – oh I get it. Anyway, supper. They got extra chicken today. We’re being spoiled!

Only getting what is our due for being such perfect dogs!

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