Posted by: John Colby | Saturday July 28 2012

Celtic Terrors Summer Holiday DogBlog 2012

Celtic Terrors Summer Holiday DogBlog 2012

Link to last year’s Celtic Terrors Holiday DogBlog

Introduction

Kerry, before we start this year’s blog, do you think it’s a good idea if we introduce ourselves?

Good idea, Sandy. And I think we should talk about the Dogs Trust as well.

Because without them we wouldn’t be here together to blog.

You first.

No, you first.

No, I insist, you first.

Sandy and Kerry – Kerry at the front – at Crow Point

No – oh well, if you insist. I’m a ten and a half year old collie cross. They think the other parts are Labrador and German Shepherd. I was born in Dogs Trust Glasgow on 19 January 2002, and someone adopted me. However three and a half years later I found myself in Dogs Trust Kenilworth because they couldn’t look after me. I was booked to go to a home, but they cancelled. Then I met a hairy human with an older dog. We seemed to get on OK, and a week later I found my forever home where I am now.

I came from Ireland. The Dogs Trust didn’t know anything about me because I was a stray, about four years old. I was described as ‘very thin’. All I remember is being taken in and fed. And looked after. Six weeks later these people came to see me and I knew a sucker when I saw one and made straight for her. There were a couple of others as well. One picked me up. I liked it. Then I met Sandy. A week later I’d been spayed and was home with them.

Tell them how you escaped in Sainsbury’s car park.

I didn’t like being taken in a car (now you can’t keep me out as it means we’re going out) so as soon as I could I nipped out, but they caught me. I’m glad now that they did.

Now tell them what the vet said about you.

Ah yes – they took me round to their vets and asked what I was. All she said was “Well, there’s collie in there somewhere”. Now tell them what you do.

What do you mean?

Tennis balls.

Ah yes – they play with me. All I have to do is drop a tennis ball near them and they throw it for me.

What about your collection? You must have hundreds.

And what about your food obsession?

If you’d been where I’ve been …

Point taken.

So we’d better start this year’s blog.

Tuesday 17th July 2012

Will this rain ever stop? I haven’t finished my swimming pool yet and it’s getting flooded.

Thought that was what it was supposed to do?

Not yet, Kerry – it’s not deep enough and the nose tends to collect the evidence.

Like when they have to wash your nose and you don’t like it.

They don’t have to wash my nose. I like it like it is.

Sandy, they have to wash it before you wipe it on their bed.

It’s our bed. We just allow them to sleep in it.

I think that may have a subtly different point of view.

Yes, but … Hey – they’re back!!

With the caravan! We’re going away!! Race you!

Don’t worry, they won’t leave you behind.

Yes, but can’t quite get through that feeling from before.

Get your point.

Now what?

They’re just parking it. Suppose she’s going to work her magic on it.

Hope she does – can’t bear to think of leaving it to him to work magic.

Neither can she. That’s why she does it.

But they’re not doing any more to it tonight.

No. She probably has to put her wand on charge.

Huh?

To make the magic.

Wednesday 18th July 2012

Not much happening today. They’re at work.

Hey – she’s home early. Maybe her wand’s charged.

She’s taking stuff out of the van.

But now she’s putting more stuff in.

Why can’t we be there to supervise? And I want to see her use her wand.

Could think that they don’t want your fur in everything. You’re shedding.

So are you.

Not as much as you are.

Now she’s cluttering the lounge. Wait a minute, this is all stuff we take – we’re getting ready to go.

Don’t see any tennis balls.

But there is dog food.

Stomach on legs!

But if you’d been where I’ve been …

Point taken.

Yes, you never forget. No matter how good it is … you never forget.

I was luckier. I was always looked after. Thanks to Dogs Trust. They never let me down.

I didn’t know it at the time but I got lucky when they took me in. And then she selected me.

From what they say she didn’t have much choice the way you leapt in her arms.

Yeah. That time on the streets taught me to spot a sucker from a mile off.

And you’ve been using it ever since.

Wouldn’t you?

In your position, yes. Just glad I didn’t have to.

Hey – he’s home. And getting more stuff ready.

And she’s excited about what he’s just shown her.

Sandy! This is a family blog!

The weather forecast! Looks like it’s getting better.

Hmmmm.

Thursday 19th July 2012

He’s gone to work and she’s home. I’m following her round.

She says you’re her shadow.

Making sure she doesn’t forget anything.

She won’t – she’s got lists. Plenty of them.

Wonder what happened to last year’s lists that she was going to keep?

She’s probably filed them somewhere safe.

And in her case ‘safe’ probably means ‘lost’.

Nah. She’ll discover it when she’s looking for something else.

And then put it somewhere safe.

AKA lost. Then we’ll start the whole cycle again.

“There’s a hole in my bucket, dear Lisa, dear Lisa …”

He’s as bad.

It’s a good job we’re around to show them what to do.

Well, she’s done the van. Lunch. See what we can blag.

And now he’s home. Let the chaos begin!

As usual.

They’re not doing much more tonight. He’s got his books ready.

And he’s sorting CDs. In case it rains.

He’s got enough to last Noah’s Flood.

Are we going tomorrow?

Think so.

Friday 20th July 2012

Car loaded. Harnesses on. Me first!! Me first!!

We both get the same treatment.

But we’re going to see the rabbits!

That’s all we seem to do. You never catch any.

This year!

You said that last year. And the year before.

I’ve been in training.

Errrmmmm???

I have!

When?

Let’s see – there was last Sunday when he took us for that long walk …

As he does every Sunday.

And then …

Face it, Kerry, you haven’t been doing anything extra at all.

Well …

So the rabbits are safe again?

Well … Now what’s he looking at?

Skylark. Vaughan Williams.

Windhover. Gerard Manley Hopkins.

Playing poetic tennis?

Yep!

So we’re just proving we’re erudite dogs.

Don’t have to prove it – everyone knows.

But we’re off. Trouble getting the right angle to get off the drive. Now there’re checking the lights.

What’s that “Eep, eep” noise?

Indicator – shows the caravan’s attached. Now mirrors, and we’re off.

Hey – only an hour late, they’re improving.

Right – shift yer bum!

But I wanna look out!

So do it from your side.

Your side’s more interesting.

But still – shift yer bum!

Motorway.

We’re stopping! Something’s wrong. No trailer lights is what.

We’re going back. She phoned the garage and they think it’s a fuse needs uprating.

So now we’re back. And they’re furtling in the boot. Hey – it’s OK.

So they’re turning the van, and hitching up – and it’s going “Eep”. Off again.

Three hours late.

But it wasn’t all their fault. This time.

Motorway.

I said that last time.

You did. And I said “Shift yer bum”. And I’m saying it again.

OK, I’ve seen this bit once.

M42 – M5 – Strensham. Pit stop.

Aaaaahhhhhh! I needed that.

And me. And here he comes back with her “Aaaahhhh!” moment.

Double Espresso?

You’ve got it. He knows what’s good for him.

And off again. However there’s signs they don’t like. What are they?

Congestion M5 J19-21. We’ve seen them before.

Last time we went off and found another way. We’re not doing it this time.

Nah – she consulted the interweb thingie and found that the delay was 20 minutes – not worth finding another route for just that.

Hope they’re right. Ah – just joined the end of the queue. But this is nowhere near where it said.

So we have to wait. I spy with my little eye …

Been 15 minutes so far and we’ve only just reached where they said.

I spy with my little …

Funny twenty minutes. More like three quarters of an hour delay. And it’s thinning. But look at the holdup going north. It started at Junction 21 and we’re now nearly at 24 before the queue ended. They’re in for a long wait.

Taunton Deane. Pit stop. Aaaaahhhhhh! I needed that!

That’s my line!

Back in – Tiverton, and off to the north. Bit hillier. And now off onto Exmoor.

She’s nervous – the road’s narrower and twisty.

He knows what he’s doing.

She’s twitchy and he’s told her to stop.

Nearly 1000ft up!

Must be the coffee she’s had.

No, elevation – can see for miles! Hey, there’s Lundy!

Must be near the campsite, then.

And we’re here. Caravan Club Willingcott. They’ve checked in and we’ve been given a space.

But it’s occupied – back to the office.

Got one now. Reversed OK but she wants him three feet sideways.

Done that. Now the awning, Easier than the other one.

At last we can stretch our legs.

Walk. Supper. Walk. Bed.

They’re both snoring. Keeping us awake.

Don’t care. We’re warm and there’s space to be comfortable.

Night.

Night.

Saturday 21st July 2012

Strange colour in the sky. Blue.

Haven’t seen that in – well – ages.

Breakfast. Ours and theirs, some of which became ours.

He’s spotted another skylark. Now out. Oops, wrong way – change the satnav settings. Where are we going?

Appledore – a peaceful place.

Appledore. That place that St Ives should have been but isn’t.

Satnav’s not very good, is it?

It seems to have invented some routes through walls, certainly.

Anyway, we’re here.

Slow walk along the river. Plenty of smells, plenty for dogs at our pace.

Now we’re going into the streets. Oh oh. She’s found a bookshop. We’ll wait outside with him.

But they’ve invited us in. Nice people.

And now he’s buying books. Good marketing getting us in, then.

Now lunch. And they’re bringing us water. Nice of them.

Now back to the car and off for them to do some shopping. One of them stays with us, though.

Now Sainsburys and back to the caravan.

And the dog walk.

There’s Lundy Island!

Where’s Tuesday Island?

What do you mean … you’ve been talking to that French Poodle again, haven’t you?

Yep!

Supper. Bed.

Sunday 22nd July 2012

Managed to blag some of their breakfast again. And off to Ilfracombe. Need a few supplies.

Must stock up – you’ve been getting successful with the begging routine.

And back to the van for lunch. We’re waiting for low tide.

Going to Crow Point – boats, dunes and beach.

And rabbits!

They’re quite safe.

Cheek!

Truth! Anyway, talking of rabbits …

You’ve been plotting, haven’t you?

Wait and see. Meanwhile enjoy this place.

Run!

Sand!

Mud!

You would!

Run!

Water!

Great!

Tide’s further out than when we came here before.

Good, more mud! More sand!

There’re loads more people as well.

Look – first decent weekend for ages – you’d expect people to be out – first chance they’ve had.

Yeah – we can’t believe our good fortune with the weather at the moment.

Abandoned hulk at Crow Point

He’s brought water. Me first!

Let it get to the dish – drinking out of the bottle is so …

Right, I’m off in the dunes to find rabbits.

They’ll call you back.

I’ll come – eventually.

Sea’s a long way off. Suppose it is low tide.

More space – now we’re going round the point. She’s taking photos. And you’re a poser!

Just showing my best side, if you don’t mind. I do care how I look on the web!

This hulk was here last year.

Given its state it wasn’t going to float away very far, was it?

More rabbits!

Stop for water – Kerry takes it straight from the bottle before it hits the dish

Come on, we’re going back. More water. Let it get to the dish, Kerry!

Not like you then, gently sip at it then play a game of catch with them when you catch the water in mid-air. So ladylike!

Fun!

Anyway, back to the car. I want to nick the laptop tonight.

You’ve been plotting!

In a burrow in Penwith.

Rabbit 1: Hello, Northam Burrows Control. Thanks for the update. Dog known as “Kerry Come Here!” spotted today along with companion. Intelligence has it that they’re headed our way. Penwith control out.

Rabbit 2: So they’re back. Just hope that after last year the messages are on time.

Rabbit 3: And don’t forget that this year there are no fees. Last year you took our lettuce and didn’t deliver.

Rabbit 1: Ok, yes. We have a new system this year.

Rabbit 2: You said that last year …

Rabbit 3: And the year before.

Rabbit 1: I know, I know. This one’s so much more secure. Relies on CPS …

Rabbit 3: Canine Positioning System? That’s old and failed last time.

Rabbit 1: … which has been upgraded to give a much more accurate result, if you’d just let me finish.

Rabbit 2: So it’s complete?

Rabbit 1: This is the Beta, nearly ready for release.

Rabbit 2; Why am I suddenly getting twitchy whiskers?

Rabbit 3: Probably the same reason I am.

Rabbit 1: Look – what have you got that’s better?

Rabbit 2: Instinct!

Rabbit 3: Common sense!

Rabbit 1: Look, give it a try. We’ve been working hard on this.

Rabbit 2: Do we have a choice?

Ah – you’ve tapped into them again.

Yep! And this time I’m using the Cloud.

Not many of them about today.

Not that sort of cloud – computing cloud.

That was a joke.

Oh!

So what have you done this time?

Social engineering again. You know they used a pretty insecure password last time …

L3ttuce?

That’s the one. So I went to their storage and used reverse social engineering to guess what they might use. Came up with all sorts that I thought could be used. Spent ages. Then I cracked it.

So what was it?

They hadn’t changed it.

So it’s still L3ttuce?

Yep. Thing is, they THINK they’ve changed it as they’ve all changed their logons, but they left the admin password unchanged.

So you can hack into them at will.

Exactly. Just like I am doing.

This is going to be fun.

Monday 23rd July 2012

Up early. Looks like we’re trying to make an early start.

I’ll see it when I believe it. Have they ever?

Errrm. Let me think. There was … – no. But then there was … – no again. Then in … – no, not then either. And then … – no. Come to think of it we’ve never got away on time.

So we’ll just lie on the grass and relax. They’re doing all the work.

It’s happening quicker than I expected. We may get there before nightfall.

Hope so – I’m hungry.

But you’ve only just had breakfast.

So? It wasn’t enough.

But they’re trying to keep you at your ideal weight.

Their idea of my ideal weight is not my idea of my ideal weight – as I’ve said before.

But they want you around for a long time – not like some of those dogs you see who can’t move very well because their owners give in to them. And you need the speed for the rabbits.

One day.

You say that every year.

Harumph!

Anyway, they’re putting us in – and we’re off.

Only up to the office. They’re handing the key back.

And now off – same old traffic jam in Braunton.

He wants to go along the Atlantic Highway. Says it’s been forty years since he’s been along it all.

There’s Lundy.

What’s that further down – looks like another island but it’s probably cloud.

Or the Lost Land of Lyonesse.

Huh?

Supposed to have disappeared a long time ago.

We’re stopping – lunchtime!

They need a break.

And now off again. Looks like we’re going north of Bodmin Moor this time.

Camelford, Wadebridge, then the A30.

Look, there’s Carn Brea! Think we’ll get to go there again?

We usually do. They like it and I know I like it.

Better traffic today than it has been for us.

And now at Wheal Rodney. Walk first. Think we’ll let them do the work while we lie in the shade. And then shopping.

Rabbit 1: Right, they’re close. Be on your guard.

Rabbit 3: Whadya mean close! Just popped topside and there she was, the golden one grinning at me!

Rabbit 2: And I’ve just has a close encounter with the other one. What’s all this about a more effective system?

Rabbit 1: It’s giving the right data – they’re here.

Rabbit 2: Yes, but it’s late. Let’s have a look at that!

Rabbit 3: Look, down in the corner “This data may be delayed by 20 minutes. To receive real time data upgrade to the Professional Service.”

Rabbit 1: Yes, but the Professional service we’d have to pay for. This one’s free.

Rabbit 2: So yet again you’ve been telling us that “We have the technology” but you’re too mean to pay for the technology to work?

Rabbit 1: But it costs more than we can afford.

Rabbit 3: I remember last year – we paid two months lettuce each to have early warning, and that failed as well. What happened to the lettuce?

Rabbit 1: It wilted.

Rabbit 2: Wilted my foot! You ate it.

Rabbit 1: Only when it started to wilt.

Rabbit 3: Huh!!

Rabbit 2: You’d better fix this and quick. It’s getting dangerous!

Heh! That’s good. What have you done to them?

Successful salesmanship. I just fed them the ‘benefits’ and they swallowed it.

Not very discerning, are they?

I would say “desperate for a technological fix” and “trusting too much in technology”.

You’re starting to sound like him on a rant.

Learn from the best, they say. That’s one of the slogans of his university.

So what are you going to do now?

Nothing. Let them panic. And then you appear again unexpectedly. And then they tweak some more. And you appear as predicted. That’ll make them think they’ve got something right. Then they get more confidence. Then you appear unexpectedly again.

How do you know all this.

I wrote the script to run before we left home.

Clever!

But now supper.

That’s my line!

So? I nicked it.

That’s plagiarism!

And you don’t?

Not often.

Uh huh?

Then walk, mooch around, then bed.

And on that successful change of subject, good readers, good night.

Ibid

Show off!

Tuesday 24th July 2012

Off for our early morning stroll.

You won’t find any rabbits.

But we have to look.

Agreed – act normally, don’t let them know what’s been cooking.

Your scripts have been running?

Never stop. Anyway, let them think we don’t know what they’re up to.

Rabbit 1: See! Told you that they’d show up then. And they did!

Rabbit 2: Not exactly hard to predict when they’ve been doing the same thing every morning they’ve been down here for the past eight years!

Rabbit 1: Just proves that the system works. Now about that fee …

Rabbit 3: I need more proof before I part with a single stalk of grass, let alone lettuce.

Rabbit 2: And me. Now you’d better get that thing right!

Rabbit 1: But …

Rabbit 2: Right, we said! Fool proof! Blast proof! Right!

Rabbit 1: But …

Rabbit 3: Right, we said! Not some half cocked “Nearly works” all the time.

Rabbit 1: What would happen if I turned it off?

Rabbit 2: Then we’d be no worse off than we were at the beginning.

Rabbit 3: Come to think of it, we had our instincts more sharpened then. Do you think … ?

Rabbit 1: OK, OK, I get it. You want it to work.

Rabbit 2: That’s it exactly.

Rabbit 3: Quite.

So where today. They said they have to go into Penzance.

I don’t like the noise.

But they can’t leave us in the car, that’d be worse.

Ok – I know that they know I don’t like towns, and they keep their visits as short as possible.

Come on, then we can blag some of their lunch.

Causewayhead – the part that always me think of a frontier settlement. The discovery, the rough and ready nature of the place, the …

You’ve renewed your poetic licence again, haven’t you.

Yep, and the free …

Don’t tell me – jokes module.

Yes, how did you guess?

Just say that I’m expecting the humour to get worse. I have to suffer that every year. It’s worth exactly the price you paid for it.

But it’s free. It cost nothing.

Exactly.

Now we’re off down to find a new bookshop – or maybe it’s the old one renamed.

Renamed is his guess – and there it is – he’s right. She’s going in.

We’re waiting outside. But now we’ve been invited in. Of course we’re well behaved dogs!

But nothing bought – now that’s a rarity!

Hot, isn’t it?

That’s why they’re getting lunch and going back for a while, then coming out later. I did hear mention of sausage rolls.

You wouldn’t miss that.

And so back, and sausage rolls have materialised.

And dematerialising just as fast into your stomach!

Time for a siesta – cool grass in the shade beneath a blue, so blue sky.

Hey – I’m the one with the poetic licence!

They’re reading. And he’s falling asleep and is snoring.

Now we’re off again. Hey, it’s Long Rock. Wonder if they’ve remembered my tennis ball?

Of course, they wouldn’t forget that. Run!

Sand!

Sea!

Tennis ball!

Tide’s low – could walk onto the Long Rock – from which the village gets its name, doncha know.

Fairly obvious. But problem.

Paddling at Long Rock

What’s that?

They haven’t thrown my tennis ball for at least three seconds.

Run!

Sand!

Splash!

Tennis ball!

Run!

Plenty of other dogs here.

Play!

Sea!

Run!

Splash!

Knackered!

Back to the car – then shopping – then back to the caravan.

But we have to stay outside until we’ve dried off a bit.

No hardship in this weather.

You’re dripping sand.

Not as much as you are.

She’s gone swimming, and we’re going for a walk to the field.

Rabbits!

Hey – wait for me – I saw them first!

That’s scared them. Must have a look later.

Supper!

Walk.

Stretch out.

But they’re saying that they want to sit down. Suppose we’d better let them.

Rabbit 3: That was close, too close!

Rabbit 1: Well, you chose to ignore me. I told you they were back.

Rabbit 2: But that was ages ago. And as they hadn’t appeared we assumed that your system was wrong again.

Rabbit 1: Assumption – the mother of all cock-ups.

Just as I’d hoped.

You’ve duped them again.

Wednesday 25th July 2012

I DO NOT LIKE THE VETS! I DO NOT LIKE THE VETS!

Sandy, stop trying to crawl into the skirting board. They only want to make sure you’re OK as you haven’t been eating well.

I DO NOT LIKE THE VETS! I DO NOT LIKE THE VETS!

Look – I’ll come in with you. I don’t like being left without you either.

I DO NOT LIKE THE VETS! I DO NOT LIKE THE VETS!

There’s no need to climb into his shirt pocket. Just let them examine you.

I DO NOT LIKE THE VETS! I DO NOT LIKE THE VETS!

And let them take your temperature.

I still don’t like the vets, even though we’re finished and outside.

They said nothing was wrong with you, just the travel. We’re with you, we’re all OK.

So what do I have to do?

Just be yourself. And there’s chicken attached to this treatment!

Did you say chicken?

I did.

I’ll think about this.

Don’t think too long, or the chicken may fly in my direction.

But we’re back at the caravan – breakfast.

Now he’s gone off – long time. And he’s back. And dragging her and us with him.

And now she’s excited about a post Roman Dark Age potsherd, whatever one of those is.

Looks like the stuff we were digging up in the top field.

Apparently it’s only in Cornwall that people continued making pottery after the Romans left.

So what did they do for dogbowls in the rest of the country?

Don’t know. But she’s got her mojo fired up again.

Now he’s taking us to see the rabbits again.

Ignore them.

But …

All part of the plan.

Right, now off. Where to?

Camborne. Some place called Chapel Hill.

Figures. But hasn’t she found enough?

Chapel at Brea – not visited before this year

Apparently there’s some elusive ones hiding. Bit like your rabbits.

Oi! Not fair!

Found one. Not the one she was looking for though. Now talking photographs.

Off to Portreath to get lunch. Then to Tehidy. Did you see that sign on that place, Perran’s Cross.

Wonder what annoyed him?

I don’t … wait a minute – that was your jokes module, wasn’t it?

Yep!

Should have known, Fell for it!

Lunch!

Then a walk round in the shade. Pleasant.

Dog in the Greenwood

Then shopping, then back. Now she wants to come and find the rabbits!

She calls it field walking. So they’re going up and down this field picking up bits of pottery.

Now we can just get to the hedges. Rabbits here!

So you say.

There are!

They’re a long time. They’re finding stuff, though.

Not rabbits?

No, not rabbits!

Eventually finished.

So now back and supper.

Rabbit 1: See, exactly as predicted. Arrive when and where it said they would. Now about that fee …

Rabbit 2: I’m getting to believe you, but I really think we should give it another day or so.

Rabbit 3: Seeing how it’s been wrong before.

Rabbit 1: How much more proof do you need? It’s predicting accurately and telling us where they are!

Rabbit 3: After your previous cock-ups I want to see it works for longer.

Rabbit 2: And me.

Rabbit 1: Well, you can’t wait for ever.

So we’ll never catch them.

No? Wait and see.

Thursday 26th July 2012

Get them up, go up to the field, look for the rabbits and back for breakfast.

So we’re going chapel hunting again today.

I prefer rabbit hunting, they taste better.

But you’ve never even come close to catching one.

Puppy school taught me that.

You must have a good memory.

Cheek – yours must be better as you’re older.

Anyway, we’re off.

What were you doing just before we left?

Making adjustments.

I won’t ask.

You’ll see when we get back.

I know better than to ask. Where are we going?

Chapels.

Tell me something new.

OK, new chapels we haven’t seen yet.

There mustn’t be many. Or any.

Agree, but we (and he) has to obey.

But apparently we’d seen them all.

And now of to Porthallow. Satnav. Sending us a strange way.

He’s stopping. And it’s the wrong Porthallow. We want the one that’s the midway point of the South West Coast Path.

Back to map navigation – and we’re there.

Lunch!

Stomach on …

I know, I know. If you’d been where …

Yes, and I’m very glad that I haven’t. No wonder you don’t want to talk about it.

I’m just scared that this could all disappear.

You don’t think they’d do that, do you?

No. It’s just a nightmare. I know that they want me just as they want you.

So now he’s taking us for a stroll along the beach.

Not as sandy as Long Rock. It’s a bit deeper as well.

Nice how we can do what we like.

And he’s happy to be with us.

Now back and chill for a while.

Find some shade to lie in.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!

He’s taking us for a stroll again.

And we’re back chapel hunting. Ruan Minor, this one.

So we’re on the road to Ruan.

Grief!

Now Lizard Village, and ice cream.

She’s insisted it’s Roskilly’s

Don’t blame her. How was yours?

Same as yours, not enough of it.

Now back to Sainsbury’s and back to the caravan.

And up to the field.

Rabbit 2: What sort of early warning system do you call this? I’ve just come face to face with both of them. And they’ve gained speed!

Rabbit 1: Watch out when you go topside, guys, they’ve just come back

Rabbit 2: I SAID – I’ve just come face to face with both of them. And they’ve gained speed!

Rabbit 1: Yes, they’ve just come back. They could be showing up any minute.

Rabbit 2: ANY MINUTE – they were here ten minutes ago. I have to take evasive action down the emergency route just to get back. What about the early warning??

Rabbit 3: And they’re in the top field. Where’s the point of your system?

Rabbit 1: It shows that they have only just got back. I don’t understand it.

Rabbit 2: I understand very well – your system’s rubbish!

Rabbit 3: And don’t think I’ll be paying any more until it does what you’ve promised – tells us when they’re about ON TIME! Not twenty minutes behind!

Rabbit 2: So just get it right, understand?

Rabbit 1: But …

Rabbit 3: And that’s from me as well!

So what did you do?

Just switched their timezone – and now I’ve switched it back.

You’ve done that before.

They didn’t notice then, either.

Good plan.

Friday 27th July 2012

It’s breezier today. Ho hum!

You’re plotting something, aren’t you? Is it to do with the rabbits?

Ho hum.

OK, so that’s why you’re first at the gate. And we’re off!

Ho hum!

Why are you wearing a smile? Your plotting worked, didn’t it?

Ho hum!!

Rabbit 3: So there I was expecting the golden one they call “Kerry Come Here” and I get face to face with the other one with a big smirk on its face. What do you call this? Early warning? ‘Cos I don’t!

Rabbit 2: They swapped turns this morning – why didn’t your system pick it up?

Rabbit 1: But they were there just like I said. I got the right number, just not necessarily in the right order.

Rabbit 2: And you want more subscriptions of lettuce for this?

Rabbit 3: Tell you what, you go up next time. Prove your system.

Rabbit 1: Errr … err …

Rabbit 2: That’s it, prove your system – no more arguments. Otherwise we’ll start singing “Brighteyes” again.

Rabbit 1: That’s a threat. I’m not falling for it.

Rabbits 2 and 3: (sing) “Brighteyes, burning with …”

Rabbit 1: Enough, enough! I’ll go. On one condition.

Rabbit 2: What’s that?

Rabbit 1: You follow.

Rabbit 3: OK, fair enough.

All right, how did you do it this time?

Swapped our CPS geotags.

CPS? I’ve forgotten.

Canine Positioning System.

Right – now out – Penzance to see the Pirates.

She’s going shopping, we’re with him sitting by the harbour.

Then lunch – St Just for pasties for them and sausage rolls for us. And out to Carn Gloose to sit and see the Scillies.

Then back to the cheese shop, which they call a coffee and book shop. Actually it’s called The Cook Book. They allow dogs in as long as they’re well behaved. Like we are. Especially when there’s their biscuits to blag!

They’re both on a mission for the books today as well. When we get home wonder where they’re going to find space for them?

They’ll manage – we won’t be sleeping in a kennel.

Should think not – however if we nudge her slightly do you think she’ll get him a kennel?

Nooooooo! He’d call it a shed and then there’s no telling what he’d be up to!

Now we’re back to Penzance as she’s got a ticket to literary festival do. Something about Cornish Saints in literature. However we’re off to Long Rock.

Sand!

Sea!

Kerry enjoying life

Chase!

Run!

Ditto!

Knackered!

Sandy posing

Now to pick her up, go shopping and back to the caravan.

Then a walk to the field. I’m off!

I’m not far behind!

He’s calling us – ignore him for the moment until we’re finished here.

Now the next field. I’m off!

And me.

And now the final field.

Not much here today, so back to the field we first thought of.

That’ll confuse them – let’s see what they’re up to.

Rabbit 1: Agghhh! They’ve found the back entrance.

Rabbit 2: Did they get close?

Rabbit 1: Close enough, didn’t you see?

Rabbit 3: We were at the front entrance, where we expected you to be.

Rabbit 1: But I agreed if you’d back me up.

Rabbit 2: We were, but you weren’t, so that’s your problem.

Rabbit 1: But …

Rabbit 3: But as we said – prove your system.

Now they’re getting totally confused.

As I intended.

Good one. Now supper.

Kerry, did you have to be in such a rush to get into the bed while she was making it, and then fall into our water bowl?

But the floor needed washing anyway – was meaning to tell them about it.

Understood, but not at that time of night.

Next Instalment

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